WHISPER it quietly – but I think children’s parties are becoming a living hell... for parents! And I suspect it’s a living hell many can’t really afford.

Do you know the average cost of a children’s birthday bash these days is £278 (source: Sainsbury’s customer survey). What?

OK, I’m old and our four children have grown up. But I remember most of their parties were held at home (it took an age to get the jelly out of the carpet). 

Maybe one or two were in a village hall (I vaguely remember a magician with a rabbit or a girl that did face painting). But it never got more lavish than that.

Yet now I’m talking to friends whose grandchildren are attending an endless stream of Princess/Frozen-themed/Pepper Pig World/Virtual Reality parties. All with about 30 kids there. The whole class HAS to be invited - not just best friends.

Of course, that creates intolerable pressure for the parents. How can you be the mum/dad who hosts a ‘sensible’ party? OMG, your child will never speak to you again!

Where did it all start, and where will it end? I drove past a shop in Taunton this week called Premier Princess Parties. They’ve even got a red carpet on the pavement outside. There’s clearly a market for it, so good for them.

Mind you, in London there’s a party planning company (based in Chelsea of course) that offers massages and pedicures for six year olds! It’s true.

If you think that smacks of excess, consider that the average cost of weddings these days is £20,700 (source: Hitched magazine). What happened to a church/register office ceremony with a reception in the village hall (food provided by family and friends)?

Then there’s the honeymoon – average cost now £4,300. Wow.

It is one of my great regrets that my wife and I never had a honeymoon. We did book a week in Tenerife, back in 1979.

But I was working on a newspaper and unfortunately journalists nationwide were on strike for seven weeks! No salary - honeymoon cancelled.

We do laugh about it now!